Criss Cross

 Hot DAMN YA’ALL!  I can cross my effing legs!  Girl!  I have NEVER EVER been able to cross my legs!  I was imitating my daughter as she sat on her phone with her 10 year old legs crossed.  I swung my right let over my left without missing a beat.  I yelled, OH MY GOD!  I JUST CROSSED MY LEGS!!!  I said to my husband “DO YOU SEE THIS?  MY LEGS ARE CROSSED!”  Get out of here!  What does this mean?  

When I was younger, and had smaller thighs (honestly I have always struggled with my weight, but I assume my legs were smaller then), I never crossed my legs.  I was taught that “Ladies cross at the ankle to avoid showing too much leg or a peek at the upper thigh.”  So when I say that I never comfortably crossed my legs before,  I mean NEVER.  

Since this discovery, I am hesitant to try it.  I run through questions in my mind.  Does this chair lean back too far for my legs to cross?  Are these pants loose enough for me to cross my legs?  What if I try and can’t, then other people will know that my legs are too big to cross?

I realize that, perhaps, most people don’t run through these mental cycles as often as I do.  In the same way that I used to size up a chair to determine if it would hold me or if I would be sitting on the arms or if the arms would be around me, I have to consider things before crossing my legs.  Maybe it’s because it’s all new.

Speaking of crossing things, I now love to cross my arms!  They rest so perfectly under my breasts.  Then, I wonder if people will think I’m cold or stuck-up or disinterested because I’m crossing my arms.  NOPE to all of those, I’m crossing my arms because I can.  

It’s strange to be discovering myself again at 47.  What wonderful things am I capable of now that I’m not carrying an additional 40, 50, 70 pounds of weight?  Wonders never cease and I’ll keep you posted.