Starts with A Single Step

 My goal is to take 10,000 steps every day.  Until recently, I could count on one hand how many times I reached that goal.  This week, I reached it twice.  One day, I looked at my fitbit and saw that I had 8652 steps in so far.  It was only 6:00 pm, so I got to moving again.  My husband and I were watching a movie when I noticed my watch.  I jumped up and started waking in place.  I tried jogging, but I did not have the support system under my pjs to allow that madness to happen.  I walked from the bathroom and around the bed, checking my watch every few steps to make sure each and every one was registering!  After a while, I gave up and climbed back in bed.  9520.  WHAT?!  I’ve got to do this!  

I walked downstairs and started taking laps from the steps, through the kitchen, through the living room and around and around.  My daughter, who was washing dishes, stared at me.  “Mom, WHAT are you doing?!”  I said, “I’m almost at my step goal and I want to reach 10,000!”  I climbed the stairs, which should count for a few steps each, in my opinion, and returned to my room.  9890.  

Come on, Jenn!  You’ve got this.  I moved, jumped (ouch) and pumped my arms as I walked around the bed.  Finally, I felt the glorious buzz on my wrist.  I had reached 10,000 steps!  I took another shower and went back to bed.

What if and Backside Follow-up

 I was reflecting back on a couple of my previous posts and thought it only fair to share an update.  In the post “Baby Got Back,” I wondered if I would lose my ass.  As I have stated before, the hips and ass are kind-of like a family crest.  In fact, 15 years ago when I was training with Trainer McEye-Candy, I referred to my legs as “the Jacksons.”  He would say, “Ok, today, we’re gonna work on those Jacksons!”  I thought that, no matter how hard I tried, I would carry my family between my lower back and my knees.  

Well, much to my husband’s dismay, I have lost my ass!  It’s not all gone, now, but it has diminished considerably.  I honestly did not think it would.  One day, I was annoyed and just  had to see what was hitting the top of my thighs.  You won’t believe what it was!  My ass had a crease under it that wasn’t there before.  The crease allowed my buns to have a separation between butt and thigh.  And my butt was touching my thigh!  Crazy, right?!

The other follow-up was from the post called “What If?”  In “What if” I talked about the fact that I have never been a small woman and, therefore, have never had sexual relations as a small woman.  I wondered if I would know what to do.  Would I discover different positions?  Would I be in my head as I had been many previous years?  Well, let me tell you, as discreetly as possible, Um, I’m doing just fine. 

 I feel free and I don’t worry about being too heavy for my husband.  I have enjoyed myself for the 12 years that we have been together, and now even moreso.  It feels different and my confidence level is through the roof.  

Now, I feel the need to stop here and say that one does not need to be of a certain size to enjoy sex alone or with a partner.  This is not some tale like the others “Once she lost the weight, she got the prince.”  This is more a tale of realizing how much time and energy was wasted in my head, once again, thinking about something that I thought should come naturally.  Now, I feel healthy.  I am still 70 pounds away from my goal, but the number on the scale doesn’t matter all that much (that’s a lie, I check almost daily, but I’m working on that.)  

If I could talk to my younger self, I would say “Girl!  You are gorgeous.  You are enough and you are attractive!  Just let yourself be.  Don’t concentrate so much on how to move or breathe to please your partner.  Trust, he is pleased!  Be in the moment.  Feel the feels and let go.”  This can be done at any age and any size as long as I give myself permission.  And I do.

Thanks BTS

 I have shared with you my struggle with moving.  It has gotten better and better.  I started out jogging one block and I was so very proud of myself.  Then, I jogged two blocks.  Now, I jog most of my workout!  It’s like I can’t help myself.  I’m walking, walking, walking and I hear myself say to myself, COME ON, LET’S GO!  And I do.  

Today, I was jogging and wondered if I could actually run.  Noticing a tree in the distance, I challenged myself to run full-out as fast as I could until I reached the tree.  Damn, that felt good!  So free!  

I realize how much I am in my head when I am doing things that are supposed to be mindless and natural.  When I’m running, I am watching myself to be sure I don’t hurt myself.  Hurt myself?  Yea, I’m used to carrying an extra 75-100 pounds and trying to walk/jog.  I was afraid I would break my knees in half and collapse on the ground back then, so I just walked.  Now, I realize I am thinking about each thing.  How is my foot landing (I heard about Chi Running), How is my breathing (am I even getting my heart-rate up?) Are my arms getting a workout (I’m trying to not look like Phoebe in that episode of Friends.)  I also noticed that I am not thinking about what I look like running as I did in the past.  Now, who the @#$%Q cares.  Just run!

What does BTS have to do with my workout?  Glad you asked.  If you  don’t know who BTS is, look them up.  I thank my young daughter for introducing me to the group and I now consider myself a true OT7 - Army 100%.  BTS is a Korean band that I started listening to in order to appease my daughter.  Now, when she gets in the car, they are already playing!  

Some BTS songs are slow and great for a warm-up or cool-down.  Today, I was walking and listening to The Best is Yet to Come.  Bouncing on my toes and singing along, I wondered if I would get two warm-up songs or just the one.  At that moment, I heard my favorite song!  Even though it’s nearly impossible to have one favorite, but, you get it.  RUN BTS starts out with some riff on the electric guitar and the first words you hear gets me going every time.  They say RUN, RUN, RUN.  And I do.  I can’t walk to that song.  After that was Mic Drop and Fire!  Man oh man!  That was a good work-out.