Is it Worth It?

 Today, I had my pre-op visit with the surgeon.  My blood pressure was 110/75, which is a bit high for me, but still good.  I was given a stack of consent forms to sign.  These included acknowledgement that the procedure I am receiving offers no guarantees, will require effort and smart food choices on my part, will be more effective with exercise, and could have complications.  

As with any surgery, there are complications, and it is my choice to willingly initial that I understand each one.  I remember when I had vocal cord surgery for the first time in 2016, the doctor informed me of the possible complications of that particular surgery.  He said something like, “whenever one is working with lazers, there is a chance of fire.”  I said, “So, are you saying there could be a fire in my throat?!”  He answered, “Although that is highly unlikely and has  never happened in my 30 years of practice, but, yes, that is what I’m saying.”  I signed the form and had the surgery.  No fires to report.

With bariatric surgery, the possible complications that I initialed, included some kind of issues with heart, kidney, bleeding, breathing, bowels, and the list went on for two pages.  Here’s the funny thing, and if you have ever struggled with weight, you will get me.  Short of certain death, I would sign those papers any day.  I am not afraid of surgery.  I am afraid of the way my knee pops and hurts so hard it stops me in my tracks when I’m walking sometimes.  I am not afraid of potential complications.  I am afraid of my heart having to work twice as hard to force blood through my body that is the size of two bodies.  I am not afraid of the pain post-surgery.  I am afraid of my children not knowing to run and play with their children because their mother did  not run and play with them.

Is it worth it?  Yes, I believe it will be.  Only time will tell.