Mirror Mirror

 This morning, I was in the shower when my daughter came into the bathroom to ask a question.  When she left and the door closed, I looked up to see ME.  I don’t remember seeing my whole body in the mirror in a long time.  We have not had a full-length mirror in the house for years.  Add that to the missing scale (so that I didn’t encourage body image issues in my children) and you have a real case of, I didn’t know it had gotten to that point.  Now, let me reiterate that I do not think negatively of myself.  I  know that I am beautiful, curvy, intelligent and hilarious.  At some earlier point in my life, I would not have been brave enough to share my true perception of myself and my fitness journey.  Hey, we are all here to learn from and help each other through life, so I disclose.  

I have been told that my body is not for me to enjoy, but for those who look at me.  Therefore, if the one or ones who look at me find me attractive, then I am AY OKAY.  Let’s break that down because there are so very many things off about that statement.  My body is for me.  My body is for me to know, to nurture, to correct and to love.  In the same way that I would not tolerate another person telling me that they like me skinny if I was underweight and unhealthy, I do not want others convincing me that because of my curves, I am where I need to be when I know that I am not.  

It is so strange to be at a place where I am excited for this journey, well, I’ve been on the journey forever, but I mean this part of the journey.  I want to figure out what works for me.  How much do I need to eat in order to be satisfied?  What helps me drink more water?  What kind of exercise do I really enjoy?  Today, I was dancing to Beyonce’ “Who Runs the World” and I was loving it.  So I gave myself permission to let dance be my daily activity.  I want to get to a point where I am active 10-15 for minutes three times per day.  That means I can dance while I get dressed, dance between counseling sessions and then dance with my kids or the whole family in the evening.  For now, I want to make sure I can sustain this goal.  I’ll try… no, I will dance for 10 minutes once a day for a week.  Let’s see how much fun I can have!  

Mirror mirror on the wall, I see you girl!