Victories

 

3.14

It’s pie day.  I was wondering if I could make some kind of sugar free yummy treat, but with the stomach the size of a grape, I don’t have much space to waste.  Today, I am three weeks post op.  I am feeling better every day and I still nap every day.  I am learning to listen to my body…sensing a theme here?  Yes, when I am eating too much or too fast, my stomach sends me threats.  “Put it down!  Don’t you dare.  You didn’t even chew that 20 times!”  I fear the results if I don’t listen, so, I listen.  It is supposed to take me 30 minutes to eat a meal that I would usually finish in five minutes.  Then, I have to debate with my brain about if I am hungry or if I just like the taste, or if I remember that this was one of my favorites.  Have you heard of head hunger?  I am recognizing that a lot.  It’s weird to sit down at the table with my family because it’s dinner time, and try to slow them down so that I’’m not sitting alone for 25 minutes.  

Well, so far, I have lost 30 pounds from when I began this journey.  According to the chart that I reference, a person who was 300-400 pounds before surgery can expect to lose 10-30 pounds in the first 10 days.  There you have it.  I am enjoying a few NSV (non-scale victories) as well.  If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you will relate to this.  The first place I lose is my fingers.  MY FINGERS!  I have gone down a size and half in my fingers.  This means that my wedding ring fits on my right hand now.  Yay, that’s progress!  Another NSV is that I can descend the stairs without stopping to gather my other foot on each step before proceeding to the next, like a two-step dance.  I can just bound down the stairs, one at a time (bound is being used loosely.  It’s more like descend).  Also, I have had a pair of jeans in my dresser for a couple years.  I don’t know that I was ever able to fit into them.  Perhaps I bought them along with a pair that did fit, I don’t know.  But, they fit!  I pulled them up, for the first time, buttoned and zipped them without a struggle.  I even sat down in them, comfortably!  One goal that I have is to purchase a virtual reality workout system once I have lost 50 pounds.  I’ll let you know when I get it!  I might swap that out for a countertop composter, hmmmm we shall see.  

I keep trying to avoid weighing myself daily, but every morning, I pull out the scale and step up.  Before the numbers register, I say to myself “You will celebrate whatever number appears because you are doing it and it is working!”   I find it difficult to predict what size I will wear in two or four or six months.  I am planning some trips this spring and summer and I want to catch some of the pre-season sales.  I looked at a dress/shirt not sure which it was, and wasn’t sure if I will wear a size medium this summer or next or never.  I like my clothes, but soon they won’t fit.  I am eyeing some television stars and thinking, “hmmm, I could rock that!  Yeah, my figure will probably look like hers so…”  In reality, I have no idea.

There’s a temptation, now that I am at the soft-food stage (soft meats, mashed cauliflower, soft cheeses, you know, soft food) to rely on protein shakes for fear that if I move from the liquid stage, I will gain those 30 pounds back.  I think this is a common concern for many and might be the case for the rest of my life.  I told my bestie about this fear and she suggested this is the reason I must keep writing; for myself, my future self, to be reminded of the road that was taken and the ways to stay on track.  Thanks for helping me stay on track.