Well, well well, what have we here! I am down 36 pounds from my highest weight and 19 from the start of the year. One more pound and I will be out of the 300s. I can’t remember the last time I was under 300 pounds. It’s a weird kind of sensation; leaving something so familiar to me; my padding, my shield. I know I’ve discussed this before, and it still comes to mind. How will I handle being smaller? My husband mentioned that my ass is already smaller. When I looked in the mirror, my skin was so flawless (after makeup) that I looked…I don’t know. It just didn’t look right, or it looked too right. Maybe that’s just the look of a person who has only had liquids for the past week.
I admitted to my husband that my biggest concern throughout this whole process is that I wonder how he will see me, how he will relate to me once I have broken up with half of myself. He made a comment that he keeps seeing how I will look in his mind and he’s not sure. I admitted that I fear that he will no longer find me attractive. He said that he has never related to a smaller woman in his life. I suggested that, instead of seeing me as smaller, he see me as healthier. Then I reminded him that he will be able to carry me over the threshold for the first time ever, as well as toss me to and fro! That we agreed upon.
One bariatric source indicated that a person who is over 300 pounds when they have surgery, will most likely lose 16-30 pounds in the first month and 80-90 pounds in the first year. Dang. Right now, those are only numbers, but soon, it will all make sense. Could I have done this without surgery? No, I don’t believe so. Now, we will never know.
I honestly believe that I will continue to love myself and have a loving attentive husband no matter what my body, my shell, looks like. I am me. I have been me for as long as I can remember and will continue to be me. I have already been creative, confident, caring and kind. That will not change. I have felt sexy, loving, and fun. What will be different?
One thing is for sure. There will not be a three as the first digit on the scale. Goodbye 300s. Good fucking riddance.
Yes! Life is about being the best YOU for YOU😊. When you feel better physically, mentally and spiritually you can live your best life and help others live their best lives, too. Jennifer, you are an inspiration and I am proud to see you choosing a healthy life style. Keep up thecgreat work😊
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